How to Steal Back A Happily Ever After
by cakelover2468
Summary: Lucy's angry, Natsu's trapped, Levy's playing detective, Gray and Gajeel are placing bets, and Angel's the reason for it all. So it's about time for a little revenge. Nalu, slight GaLe. Oneshot. For AlexuPenguin.


"Lucy, if you don't stop squeezing that juice box, it's going to explode."

She knew her best friend was right.

She knew that Levy McGarden was a certified genius, and that she should listen to her before the juice box actually exploded.

She had just been to science class and taken a test on forces, so she knew the juice box exploding was a very real possibility.

But that did not stop Lucy Heartfillia from squeezing the juice box until her knuckles grew white and actually kind of hoping that it _would_ explode so that she would have something else to look at besides…

 _That._

Approximately eight feet away from where Lucy and her friends were sitting, a pink-haired boy burst out laughing like there was no tomorrow. The girl next to him smiled flirtatiously and said something else, to which he responded with something that had them both cracking up. She leaned forward and whispered something in his ear, and he grinned back, completely at ease with everything.

It made Lucy sick to her stomach.

"Lucy," Levy warned, tapping her on the shoulder. "Your juice box."

She gripped it even tighter, ignoring her.

"Are you trying to make it explode?"

Another burst of laughter. Lucy's scowl deepened.

"Lucy. Your juice box. Exploding. Soon."

 _Levy, go away, I don't care about some stupid drink right now!_

"Hello?"

Lucy's grip tightened even more, the girl herself completely unaware of this fact.

"Uh-oh," Levy gulped, picking up her lunch and moving as far away from her best friend as possible. "It's going to blow, Juvia, get out of the way…"

And blow it did.

The poor juice box, stretched to the limits, finally decided that it'd had enough.

So it burst open.

Very dramatically.

With an actual BANG.

(But a slightly more gushy bang because, after all, it _was_ full of juice.)

Lucy, startled, shrieked like a little girl as she was drenched in Tropical Berry Blast Yum-Yum Juice. And fell off her seat, knocking her lunch off the bench in the process.

Of course, the lunch landed directly on top of her.

Lucy hated herself so much at that moment for deciding to bring soup for lunch instead of something clean-ish, like a peanut butter sandwich or something.

But then she realized that the entire lunch area had gone silent.

And that absolutely _everyone_ was staring at her.

Including _him._

And _her._

Lucy's face burned like never before. She probably would have died of embarrassment right there and then if it hadn't been for Levy, who snapped at the crowd, "What're you looking at?" and helped her up and to the bathroom so she could attempt to get cleaned up a bit, Juvia tagging along for moral support.

Only once she was in the bathroom, with a little privacy, did Lucy allow herself to freak out.

"I'm going to die!" she wailed, scrubbing at her shirt as best she could. "Everyone _saw!"_

"I did warn you," Levy replied, but then seeing Lucy's crushed expression, quickly added, "But it's not your fault! It's only natural for you to be mad about Natsu and Angel…"

Levy trailed off as Juvia made a bunch of frantic X-signs. But by then, it was too late.

"It's not _fair,"_ Lucy raged like she had a million times before. "She's so _evil!_ How can he possibly _stand_ her?"

"He would've totally asked you out if it hadn't been for her," Levy agreed. "I mean, it's not your fault she asked him first. There was no way he could say no in front of that many people."

"You think so?" Lucy's expression brightened a little, but then sank again. "Nah. That's impossible. He's an _Fairy Tail member._ I'd never have a chance."

"Of course you would, Lucy! Why wouldn't you?"

Lucy threw up her hands. "Natsu Dragneel is one of the most popular guys in school. It's impossible!"

"Lucy, Lucy, Lucy," Levy sighed. "You're hopeless."

"It's true, you know! But back to the subject. What am I going to _do_?! I'll be branded a freak for the rest of my life for this! I'll never have a decent social life! I'm practically _already_ a freak!"

"People do weird things here all the time," Juvia reassured her. "They'll have forgotten about it by tomorrow."

Lucy paused in the middle of her self-misery.

"Yeah, you're probably right," she admitted, because after all, they _did_ go to a school where people fell into trash cans and got Cup Ramen dumped on their heads (long story).

"Hey, uh, you guys?" Jellal's voice echoed through the room, and they all jumped in surprise. He sounded incredibly embarrassed – but then again, he was yelling into the girls' bathroom. "Are you done in there? Because lunch is over, and Yukino says you'd better hurry up. You know Chy's going to make you do sit-ups if you're late."

"But my shirt!" Lucy protested. "What am I supposed to do about my shirt?!"

Levy immediately dropped to her knees and rummaged around in her backpack, pulling out a PE shirt and tossing it to her. "Here. Wear this. All the shirts are ridiculously oversized, so mine should fit you just right."

As usual, Levy was right. Even though she was three sizes bigger, the shirt fit Lucy perfectly.

(Come to think of it, she probably should have just bought the shirt in Levy's size at the beginning of the year.)

Lucy immediately promised her best friend cookies and thanked her about five times per minute. All the way to Chy's class, which of course, they were late for.

By about two seconds, so thankfully, they weren't forced to do sit-ups. (Ouch.)

"Take out your homework," Chy instructed, and Lucy reached for her backpack.

It wasn't there.

She froze.

 _What?!_

She frantically spun around in her seat, looking under the desk, under the chair, even under herself, as if the backpack could have somehow magically appeared underneath her.

And then a hand tapped her on the shoulder.

"Looking for this?" Natsu Dragneel asked with his usual cheery grin, holding up a _decidedly_ familiarblue backpack.

Lucy gasped and grabbed for it. "Omijellybeans, thank you so much for grabbing it for me!"

"No problem! We're friends, right?"

Wrong thing to say.

Something inside Lucy twisted, and she almost dropped the backpack. The smile on her face vanished involuntarily as she stoically dropped the backpack next to her.

"Yeah. Sure. Whatever."

She turned around quickly so that he wouldn't have time to say anything else.

A real shame.

She completely missed the hurt and disappointed look that appeared on his face a second later.

xXx

"Yo, Flame Brains. We've got a showdown after school today. Can you make it?"

"Nope," was Natsu's immediate response. "Got practice."

Gray shoved his alto sax into the instrument locker with an irritated sigh. "You _always_ have practice."

"That's how come I'm better than you, idiot," Natsu shot back. "You should practice too, you know. It might help your playing ability."

Gray scoffed. "Help my playing ability? I'm _first-chair,_ moron."

"Yeah, that's only because you had a stroke of luck and the other guy was sick or something."

The showdown Gray was talking about was the monthly one between Phantom Lord and Fairy Tail. Since Magnolia High was the school with the highest test scores in the district, not to mention a very strange school besides, there were two rival groups on campus: Phantom Lord, which were the ditzes and delinquents, and Fairy Tail, which consisted of the smart kids that all for some reason happened to be in the music department.

Natsu had no idea how he'd made it into the Fairy Tail group, to be honest – his grades were like whales – usually below C, sometimes a tiny bit above. Except for chemistry and band, which was probably the only reason he was in the group. Either that, or it was because he was related to Lisanna, who was childhood friends with Angel.

Angel.

Even the sound of her name made him cringe.

He'd wanted to refuse when she asked him, but she'd asked him in front of practically the entire school, so there was no way he could refuse. (Seriously – there was this huge crowd watching the entire scene play out.)

It wasn't that he didn't like Angel. Okay, so maybe he totally and completely hated her, but that's irrelevant.

It was just that he didn't _like_ like Angel.

In fact, he actually _like_ liked someone else entirely.

Someone who was currently ignoring him for whatever reason, which was why Natsu's life pretty much sucked right now.

His gaze drifted over to the front row yet again, where a certain blonde flute player was discussing something regarding wormholes (whatever those are) with her best friend.

"You're going to burn holes in her back if you don't stop staring, Natsu," Mirajane's voice interrupted his thoughts.

Obviously, like a total dork, Natsu jumped.

"I-I'm not staring!" he blurted out, his face turning the color of a ripe tomato.

"Of course you aren't," Mira sighed, hefting a euphonium into its locker with minimum effort. (One of the reasons why people tried not to get on her bad side.) "And I suppose you aren't dying to break up with Angel, either."

"Am not!" Natsu denied.

Gray scoffed. "Uh-huh. Sure."

"What do you know, idiot?" Natsu shot back. "You can't even man up enough to tell that stalker of yours that you like her!"

"She is _not_ a stalker."

"Yeah, right. She has Gray-themed _curtains."_

"Which are completely adorable!" Mira protested as Gray snapped,

"And what about you, huh? Mooning over that girl day and night – you practically _failed_ that last test in Hummer's class."

"I did _not_ fail."

"You said that _water_ is made up of the elements _sodium_ and _chlorine_."

"It was a fluke! I wasn't – " Natsu paused. "Wait, how do you know that's what I answered with?"

"You were being so obsessed, you didn't even notice me swiping your paper!"

"You did _what?!"_

Natsu would've beaten Gray's face in right there and then if the teacher hadn't ordered them all back to their seats so she could dismiss them all. Sulking, he slumped into his seat with a loud sigh.

Gray was right. Chemistry was supposed to be his best subject. What had gotten into him lately?

… Okay, so maybe he knew what had gotten into him way better than he'd like to admit. His gaze strayed over to her again, and he nearly yelped in surprise when he caught her staring back.

Her gaze flew away from him as if shot by a catapult.

Natsu gritted his teeth He had to make things right somehow.

But how?

xXx

When Lucy arrived at the lunch area the next day (armed with a peanut butter sandwich to prevent any more fiascos from occurring), there was music blaring.

Loudly.

Which could only mean one thing.

"It's the sandwich challenge this time! Are you gonna do it?" Levy asked her expectantly.

Lucy snorted, pulling out her lunch. "No way. Too much work."

"C'mon, Lucy!" The sandwich was plucked out of her hands. "Natsu's volunteering for the boys. They still need a girl from our grade!"

"Nope. Not going to do it," was Lucy's immediate response. "Now give me back my lunch."

To her complete shock, Levy didn't give it back.

In fact, she took a bite.

Much to Lucy's horror.

"They've got sandwiches over there for you. You don't need this."

"Don't eat my lunch!"

"Your lunch is over there. So unless you want to starve, I suggest heading there before Angel does it for you."

Out of the corner of her eye, Lucy spotted Angel getting up with a smirk on her face. That sealed it.

There was _no freaking way_ she was going to let Angel steal her lunch away from her.

Levy nearly fell over laughing as Lucy bolted toward the stage at the front of the lunch area, desperate to make it there before Angel did. The guy with the mike was just asking for a female volunteer when Lucy's hand shot up, right under his nose.

Not surprisingly, she was picked to do the challenge.

Every once in a while, while they sold tickets for upcoming dances, the school held challenges that could range from eating donuts on a string to seeing who could hula-hoop the longest. The sandwich challenge was one that consisted of seeing who could finish a peanut butter sandwich first. Which would be easy enough, only there was a catch.

You couldn't use your hands, and your partner couldn't use their eyes.

Natsu's bright grin appeared on his face as Lucy climbed up onto the stage and walked to the table in the middle. "Ready to do this thing?"

She regarded him with something closer to a smile than anything else she'd given him in the past few days, which made him feel all warm and floaty. "Are you?"

"Nope," he replied cheerily as she stepped in front of him and waited for the signal.

"Go!" the guy with the mike yelled, and go they did.

Natsu grabbed the sandwich off the plate and practically smashed it into her face, smearing peanut butter all over her. She spluttered, and he jerked it away with an apology to a more reasonable distance.

Lucy had never eaten a sandwich so fast in her life. She'd never had so much fun doing it before, either. Peanut butter was everywhere, her clothes, her face, even in her hair, but she didn't care, she was too focused on winning this thing. Natsu was laughing behind her, the sun was shining, and she had him all to herself again.

She'd forgotten how much fun she always had with him.

They got first place. It was a proud moment.

Lucy skipped off the stage, covered in crumbs and peanut butter, Natsu next to her. For a moment, it was just like old times, both of them chattering and laughing and having a genuinely good time.

Until Angel showed up and ruined it all.

"You did a great job, Natsu!" she cooed, linking her arm through his and pulling him away. Natsu's mouth opened as if he were going to say something, but Lucy was already turning away.

"Well, see you around sometime, Natsu."

"Uh… Yeah. Sure, Lucy."

He turned around, hiding his disappointed frown, as Angel pulled him away. Which was why he didn't see what Lucy did when she turned back.

Angel smirked at her and gave a little wave, leaning even closer to Natsu.

It was a good thing Lucy didn't have a juice box then, or the entire school would've been completely drenched that second.

xXx

"Wow," was the first thing Gajeel said when he walked into the room he and Natsu shared. "What's wrong with you?"

"Go away, Rustbucket," Natsu mumbled into his pillow.

Igneel and Metallicana had been best friends since forever and a half, so when they'd graduated from college, they'd figured it'd be easier if they just shared a house with Grandine, Igneel's sister. The three had been together so long, it was an unspoken decision that these arrangements were probably going to last forever. Which was why Natsu had grown up with his cousin and a brother who was not related to him.

"Natsu. You're… You're… _depressed."_

" _Go away."_

"Is this about that girl again?"

" _Go away."_

"This isn't you, Natsu. Get up."

" _Go away, Gajeel."_

"I'm telling Igneel and Metallicana."

" _GO AWAY."_

Gajeel just folded his arms and waited. After a few seconds, the words registered in Natsu's mind.

"YOU'RE DOING _WHAT_ NOW?!"

He leaped to his feet. "You are _not_ telling Igneel."

"I will too," Gajeel shot back.

"Don't you _dare!"_

"I wouldn't have to if you would stop moping around and _do_ something!"

"This is none of your business, Gajeel. Butt out."

"Like heck I'm going to."

"You don't have any right to – "

"I've got _every_ right to. I've got _thirty bucks_ riding on you two getting it together, and there is _no way_ I'm losing to Gray."

Natsu paused. "Wait. _What?!"_

"Oh yeah, Mira started a betting pool." Gajeel waved it off matter-of-factly. "Gray bet thirty-five bucks you were too chicken to even consider getting your act together."

"So that's what Gray thinks, huh?" Natsu muttered.

"I got a suggestion for you, Natsu. You know how there's gonna be a dance on Friday?" Gajeel leaned closer. "Why don't you ask that girl of yours to it?"

" _What?!_ Like heck – "

"Unless you want everyone to believe Fullbuster's claim that you're a coward, of course," he added with a self-satisfied smile.

That did it.

The whole Angel situation was bad enough. But for Gray and everyone else to forever deem him a coward?

There was _no way_ Natsu was letting that happen, dammit. NO WAY IN TARTARUS.

Which was why he blasted out of the room at about the speed of light, snatched a random sweater from the couch, and exploded out the door, heading to Lucy's house.

Igneel walked out of the kitchen to see the front door flapping back and forth, Gajeel smirking like a cat who'd gotten the cream.

He sighed. "I'm not even going to ask."

xXx

Lucy had been there when Natsu had literally slipped on a banana peel, but even she thought that this was one of his worst cliché fails.

"Natsu!" she whisper-shrieked, staring at the broken remains of her window and the rock that lay beside them. " _What did you do?!"_

Natsu looked from his hand to the now nonexistent window. His reply was a sad one.

"It worked in the movie."

Lucy had no words.

"It was Roman and Julia or something," he added unnecessarily. "We watched it in English."

Lucy nodded slowly. "Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yeah! That was probably it!" Natsu snapped his fingers, beaming. But his happy expression fell when he looked back at the window.

"I probably shouldn't have thrown it that hard, though."

Lucy reached down and picked up the rock. It was the size of her fist.

She looked from it to Natsu. "I really don't think it would've made a difference, anyway. What're you here for?"

Natsu inwardly winced as the shock wore off and her voice grew cold. He stared at his feet, his face feeling unnaturally warm, even for him.

"I, uh, kind of… wanted to… ask you something."

"Ask me what?" Lucy paused, then sighed. "Natsu. The formula for the surface area of a sphere is – "

"Not that kind of question!"

She blinked. "Then what?"

"I… I wanted to ask… Um… I wanted to know… ifyouwouldgotothedancewithme?!" he blurted out in a flash.

Lucy stared at him. She blinked twice before speaking.

"What?"

Natsu wanted to bang his head against the wall and scream. Loudly.

"I said – "

"No, I heard you." Her voice was soft, still in shock. "B-But why me? What… What about Angel?"

Natsu's eyes hardened at the name. "Angel's not important."

"B-But she's your girlfriend! And – And she's one of you, and…" she stammered.

He replied simply, "Angel's not the one I'm asking to the dance. I'm asking you."

Lucy's first reaction was to blink at him again.

Her second reaction was to stare for a few more seconds.

And her third reaction was to give a simple nod and say, "Okay."

Natsu looked surprised. "Okay? Really?"

"Yeah," she replied, her voice eerily calm. "Really."

His eyes lit up. "Thanks, Luce! You won't regret it, I swear!"

Before Lucy could respond, he ran off down the street. A few seconds later, however, he came running back.

"Oh, right. I'll be here at five thirty! So be ready by then!"

Lucy watched as he disappeared around the corner again, then walked numbly to her phone and dialed a number she knew well.

"Hello?" Levy's voice answered. "Lucy?"

Lucy took a deep breath.

And squealed so loud that all the birds in the trees nearby took off in terror.

xXx

"You're… You're… doing _what?"_ Angel demanded.

Natsu fought to keep his face completely neutral, even though he wanted to be anywhere else but here.

"Sorry, Angel. But it just didn't work out."

"You're breaking up with _me? Me,_ of all people?" she hissed.

"Um, well, yeah that's what he's been saying for the past five minutes," Gajeel called from the background.

"Shut up," Natsu snapped, his face getting hot. "Don't you have better things to do than to watch this?"

"Are you kidding?" Gray asked, genuinely dumbfounded. "This is the most awesome thing that's happened all year."

" _You_ don't need to add to this, _ice freak."_

For some reason, absolutely all of Natsu's friends had shown up to watch the drama unfold.

They were probably drama-deprived or something.

Angel's face twisted into a scowl. "No, you aren't. You are _not_ breaking up with me."

"Yeah?" Natsu asked, suddenly angry. He'd had enough of Angel's spoiled-brat attitude. "And why the heck can't I?"

Angel smiled cruelly like the evil person she was. "Because if you do, I think Miss Lucy Heartfillia might experience a little… _heartbreak."_

 _Lucy?_

Natsu's eyes widened. "You… You knew about Lucy?"

"Darling, I think everyone knew," she replied airily. "Did you really think you could keep it a secret?"

Natsu's stomach twisted as he pictured Lucy crying somewhere in a corner alone. " _You wouldn't."_

"Oh, yes, I would," she said, and he knew she meant it.

"Hey!" Gajeel complained, interrupting the stare-off. "That's blackmail!"

"What? You didn't think I'd be capable of something like this?" Angel asked sweetly. "So, Natsu, I think it'd be best if you rethought your decision, wouldn't it?"

Natsu's hands clenched into fists as he took a deep breath and replied,

"No."

Angel looked surprised. "No?"

"No,' he repeated, stepping forward and giving Angel the worst death glare he could do. (Which was actually really, really scary, if you want the honest truth here.) "You know what, Angel? I was happy before you came along. I did what I wanted to, and nobody was going to stop me, because everyone knew it was how I was. I'm tired of listening to you. I'm tired of everything _about_ you. You're a freaking whiny brat, and I figure it's about time someone tells you that, because you need to get your head deflated. A lot. And this is coming from _Natsu Dragneel._ But oh wait, I forgot. You don't really know who Natsu Dragneel is, do you, _Pitchfork_? _"_

There was a full five seconds of silence before Gray let out a whistle and whispered,

" _Burn!"_

Angel looked scandalized. "You… You dare… How can you…"

Natsu just turned and walked away. "C'mon, Gajeel. We need to go get Wendy; she's probably worried."

Gajeel nodded mutely, but there was a huge grin on his face as he followed his roommate out of the area.

But, just before they made it out of hearing range, there was a angry scream that made both of them inwardly cringe.

"You'll regret this!" Angel screamed. "Lucy Heartfillia will pay, you hear me?! She will _pay!"_

xXx

Levy stumbled out of her English classroom, dazed from all the work Darryl'd piled on the kids that day. Seriously, the dude was brutal.

She headed to the music classroom as always to pick up her oboe, but paused at the door to one of the empty, unused classrooms. Something wasn't right here.

The door hadn't been used in forever, to her knowledge. So there was usually a huge pile of cobwebs and dust over it.

But the cobwebs had been disturbed. And since the wind hadn't blown them anywhere else, they'd been disturbed recently.

So recently, the culprit might still be in that room _at that very moment_.

And, of course, since Levy absolutely adored mystery novels and wanted to be Sherlock Holmes when she grew up, she had to check it out.

She almost pulled the door open, but then realized the hinges probably hadn't been oiled in forever. But, from her novel experience, she knew that something like this would probably happen someday. And so, she'd come prepared.

Levy knelt down and fished out a bottle of oil from her backpack. Some kid walking by looked at her a little strangely, but thought nothing of it. This was Magnolia High. It was a weird place, period.

So Levy was free to oil the joints and slowly, carefully push open the door a crack without making a single sound.

Somehow, she wasn't surprised to hear Angel's voice floating out from the tiny crack.

"… destroy Heartfillia."

Levy's ears pricked up. Heartfillia? These guys were plotting something against her best friend!

"But how?" a voice she recognized as Minerva Orland's asked. "Do you have something in mind?"

"Of course, darling," Angel replied airily. "I always do."

"What do you have in mind?"

Angel laughed the laugh of one who is absolutely certain her plans cannot fail.

"Well, I don't want to give too much away. But have you ever seen what egg can do to someone's hair?"

Levy slowly let the door fall shut, shoved the oil in her backpack, and took off running. She'd heard enough.

They were going to try to humiliate her best friend?

 _Over her cold, dead body._

xXx

This was it.

She was here.

There was no turning back now.

Lucy could feel her palms sweating, which would be extremely awkward if she was forced to hold hands. She wiped them on her skirt, taking a deep breath.

"Where are they?" Levy murmured, tapping her foot impatiently.

Much to Lucy's shock, she'd found out earlier that Levy was going to the dance with Gajeel. She had no idea when that had happened. Probably because of the whole Angel business.

Yet another thing Angel'd messed up in her life: her ability to concentrate on things she really should have been concentrating on.

There was a breeze, and Lucy caught the faint sound of arguing voices, getting louder as they approached. She smiled and nudged Levy.

"They're here."

"About time," her best friend sighed as the two boys came around the corner, engaged in a heated debate over whether Kirby or Goku would win in a fight.

"Kirby would kick Goku's butt," Natsu insisted. "He'd just eat the sucker."

"No, he can't," Gajeel countered. "He can't eat those Gordo thingys."

"He can eat Captain Stitch."

"He does _not_ eat Captain Stitch."

"Well, he can kick the dude's butt, which is the same thing."

"Not."

"It is!"

"No, it's not."

"Yeah, it is. Kirby could use his Star Rod to blow Goku to some other universe."

"How do you know Goku won't do it to him first?"

"Because Goku is a fat – "

At which point, sick of listening to the boys argue, Lucy cleared her throat as loudly as possible.

Both of them jumped.

"Oh… Hey, Lucy!" Natsu said, sounding surprised. "Wait, when did we get here? I thought we were still a block away!"

"You're a moron, you know that?" Gajeel told him. "Hello, shrimp."

"Do not call me shrimp!" Levy protested.

"Whatever, shrimp. Now come on. At this rate, the whole thing's gonna be over before we even get there."

"Wait, we're walking?" Lucy asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, of course. It's good for you, and the weather's nice. Igneel and Metallicana are waiting around the corner, by the way. I mean, Natsu finally had the guts to dump Angel and ask you out. This is cause for a celebration. Igneel even bought balloons."

"… Are you serious right now?"

"Serious as a jelly donut," he replied with a straight face.

Before Lucy could inquire as to what exactly that was supposed to mean, Levy grabbed Gajeel and started dragging him down the street.

"Hey, if you're so concerned about being late, then quit talking and let's move!"

It was the weirdest thing Lucy had ever seen: tiny Levy dragging a gigantic, protesting Gajeel along like he was a miniature poodle. But she couldn't dwell on it for too long – Natsu had flashed her one of his trademark bright grins and held out his hand.

"You coming?"

Smiling, she took it. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The four rounded the corner and came face-to-face with Igneel, who immediately did a double-take when he spotted Lucy.

"You really did it?!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were lying to me or something!"

"Don't be weird, Dad," grumbled Natsu. "C'mon, we're gonna be late."

Levy suddenly let out a startled laugh and grabbed her best friend. "Hey, they really did buy balloons!"

"Yeah, and I feel like a total moron holding these things," Metallicana complained. "Yo, Iggy, if you're done freaking out about how your kid finally got his head on straight, take these. They're embarrassing me."

Which was actually a perfectly reasonable thing to say, seeing as the balloons were all pink with Disney princesses on them.

"Nah, you can hold them," was Igneel's cheerful reply. "Since you had the nerve to call me Iggy after the nine thousand times I've told you not to."

"What?! Oh, heck no, you're taking these, or I'm letting them go."

"No way! Those cost me five bucks!"

"One… Two…"

Grumbling, Igneel snatched up the balloons. "Killjoy."

"Sore loser."

"Jerk."

"Loser."

Lucy stifled a laugh. She'd been at Natsu's house before, but she'd forgotten how hilarious Igneel and Metallicana's relationship was.

She glanced at Natsu to see his reaction, but was surprised to find him staring at the ground with a bleak expression on his face. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

Lucy sidled closer to him. "No, you're not."

"I'm really okay, Luce."

"Then how come you look like you're depressed?"

He was quiet for a second, then sighed. "I'm worried about Angel."

 _Oh._

Lucy's expression hardened. "Why? You regretting breaking up with her or something?"

"What? No, of course not. That would be stupid. It's just that… She said she was going to do something to you." He gave her an apologetic look. "I mean, I don't want you hurt because I think she's a total brat."

There was a pause, and then Lucy laughed.

"Oh, is that all?"

"Luce, you don't know Angel. You haven't seen the stuff she's done – "

"Oh, I know all about what Angel's capable of." Lucy waved it off. "Don't worry, Natsu. I've got that under control."

Natsu stared at her like she had two heads. "I'm almost scared to ask, but what's that supposed to mean?"

Lucy smirked and glanced over at Levy, who returned it.

"You'll see."

xXx

Angel rubbed her hands together in sheer anticipation, not even bothering to think about how cliché it was. Everything was put in place. All she had to do now was wait until Lucy arrived, and set off the trap.

It was perfect. After today, Lucy Heartfillia wouldn't dare show her face at school ever again.

She glanced at Minerva, who was stationed just where she was supposed to be. A smirk spread across her face as she imagined just how wonderful this defeat would be. Especially after Natsu Dragneel humiliated her beyond forgiveness.

Angel folded her arms and sat back to wait it out.

Fifteen minutes later, Minerva still hadn't given the signal.

Lucy was late. Unnaturally late, in fact.

 _What's wrong with her? I need to have my revenge!_

Angel scowled in frustration as she craned her neck toward the doorway, trying to see everyone who passed through it. Where was she?

"Hi, Angel! What're you doing?"

Angel nearly shrieked as she spun around… to see _Lucy Heartfillia._

 _What? How could she have…_

"It's a great dance, isn't it?" Lucy asked innocently. "The student body really went all-out."

Angel completely lost it right there and then.

" _How did you do it?!"_ she screamed.

Lucy blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"My plan was perfect!" Angel seethed. "There was _no way_ you could've known. _What did you do?!"_

"What're you talking about, Angel? Are you feeling okay?" Lucy tipped her head to the side. "Do you need me to get the nurse?"

" _I know you did something! What did you do?!_ " Angel screamed, taking a step forward.

And then the entire plan backfired even more when Angel, not Lucy, but _Angel_ was suddenly drenched in raw egg.

Not surprisingly, Angel lost her mind.

She screamed.

And screamed.

And screamed some more.

Until everyone in the room had stopped what they were doing to watch the deranged girl covered in goo scream her lungs out.

The guys silently began betting on how long she could scream before she ran out of air.

Finally, Angel ran out of steam.

And that's when Lucy spoke.

"You want to know what you did wrong, Angel?" she asked sweetly. "You underestimated the things friends are willing to do for you. Real friends, not the kind you bribe to hang out with you. You never learn from your mistakes, do you, _Pitchfork_?"

Angel was too angry to speak, so Lucy just turned and walked away.

Natsu was waiting for her outside with a huge grin on his face.

"That was awesome!" he cheered. "She totally got everything that was coming to her!"

"What did you expect?"

Levy came bounding out of the building with Gajeel in tow, laughing. "That was brilliant! Everything went perfectly!"

"It was all thanks to you," Lucy told her, smiling back. "If you hadn't heard Angel making her crazy plans…"

"Thank Sherlock Holmes," Levy responded matter-of-factly. "He's the guy who taught me how to find clues and stuff."

The two exchanged high-fives.

"Well, it's way too stuffy in there, and they've got to clean the egg off the floor, so why don't we head to Laxus' café?" Gajeel suggested. "Sting texted me, said everyone was already there."

"Why not?" Natsu shrugged. "Wanna go, Luce?"

Lucy slipped her hand into his and smiled. "Sure."

And it was the easiest and most natural thing in the world to head down the street with her best friends in the whole wide world, the happily ever after she'd been waiting for so long finally achieved.

 **Sweet. Cupcakes.**

 **This is by far the longest one-shot/singular chapter I have ever written.**

 **This is** _ **twenty-one**_ **pages in Microsoft Word. I am not even kidding.**

 **Also, the school in this story is based almost entirely on my school. Those who know me IRL can find the similarities and laugh.**

 **Anyway, happy birthday, Nature, and I hope you like it! Even if it was sorta plotless and weirdly written.**

 **Water, out**


End file.
